So I’ve heard a lot of people talking about this movie called “Brokeback Mountain,” which is apparently about gay cowboys. It doesn’t really sound like my kind of thing, but I guess the movie made an impact on my psyche, because one of the things I dreamed of last night (in addition to a boy in a sleeping bag falling through the ceiling into my living room, a trip to Albany where Rob and I discovered that women aren’t permitted to reproduce in city limits, and a trip to Macarthur Airport) was that I won tickets to watch the movie:

In the dream, two men dressed as cowboys were professional checkers players who traveled around the country playing checkers championships. Checkers was depicted as an intense, very cerebral game on the level of chess or go. When they weren’t on tour, they were walking around in the woods complaining about the trials of constant adulation. But then, while on tour, they accidentally step into a meat locker that resembles a gymnasium locker room, except everything is made of stainless steel and the women from Albany who tried to get pregnant in my previous dream were all sitting there naked, reading magazines and waiting around to have their heads chopped off and boiled in oil as punishment for attempting to have children. There were signs up in the waiting room to the effect of “YOU SHOULD HAVE ADOPTED.”

None of the women seemed too concerned over their fate, which struck me (the dream me, watching the film) as implausible. Then, as if on cue, Ted Raimi came out dressed as a Master of Ceremonies and shook his finger at the women, sternly saying, “Let this be a lesson to you,” and let everybody go, so I realized the women must have been expecting this all along, which was a brilliant device because otherwise, how could they maintain a female population in Albany?

The cowboy checkers player didn’t know that the women were released, though, so they leave the facility and jump into a 1972 Monte Carlo and drive around, General Lee-style, shooting up the male citizenry of Albany and driving up the stairs of the state capital building to gun down Governor Pataki…only to realize that they’ve made a terrible mistake and kill themselves by driving off a mountain which I could only assume was called Brokeback Mountain.

Finis

Also, I dreamt that I could eat coconut if it was mixed in with ice cream. It was pretty good.

xo, Amy