Snake and Freaky John strike yet again…
“You know, we never had no nuclear weapons before women got the vote,” Snake declared.
“Post hoc, ergo propter hoc,” Freaky John mumbled into his beer can.”
“Exactly. We never had no helicopters before they got the vote, either.”
“I said, ‘post hoc, ergo propter hoc,’” clarified Freakster. “Fuckin’ Latin. ‘It happened after, so it was caused by.’ I heard it in law school.”
“What the fuck! Now you’re some kind of Latin scholar, too?” Snake tossed his hair back and frowned majestically down his nose at Freak. “Need I remind you that I spent eight fucking years in Catholic school? I know Latin, and I never heard this ergopocter shit.”
“It’s like a reasoning phrase, is all,” Freakster said reassuringly. “They were talking about specious arguments and shit today. Forget about it.”
“Well what the hell does it mean?”
“It means the one ain’t got fuck to do with the other.”
“Oh. Really.” Snake scratched his nose and punched the wall. “Well, pax vo-fucking-biscum, is all I got to say to you.”
Being Methodostic, Freak had no idea what Snake had just said. Then again, he often didn’t, so he grinned. “Yeah, man. Oh, yeah. Fucking unbelievable.”
“You wanna hear some real Latin? Listen to this, dickhead: Domine deus in excelsis rex celestis deus pater omnipotent! Hodie, salvator apparuit! Jesu dulcis memoria, dans vera cordi fucking gaudia!”
Freaky John nodded. “Oh, yeah, you’re awesome. Un-fucking-believable.”
“Agnus dei, qui tollis peccata mundi!” Snake was really getting into it, rolling his R’s and everything. “Miserere nobis!”
“Habeas corpus,” Freaky John replied.
Snake cocked an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? In terra canunt angeli!”
Freak lit up the joint, promptly dropping it into the sofa cushions. “Pro forma,” he concurred, reaching into the sofa cushions and burnin himself as he retrieved the wayward weed.
“Gimme that.” Snake took a deep hit and passed it back to Freaky John, coughing, “Gloria in excelsis deo.”
“Quid pro quo,” Freakster nodded sagely.
“Et in terra, pax hominibus!”
“Right!”
Snake nodded. “So. We’re in agreement, then.”
“Abso-fucking-lutely, dude.”
Snake shook Freaky John’s hand. “All right, man. It’s not everybody that works out their differences in Latin. Maybe that law school’s good for you, after all.”
Freakster took a nice long drag and let out a couple of smoke rings. “And maybe Catholic school was good for you, man.”
“Oh, yeah,” Snake nodded. “Some of those nuns were fucking hot.”
Copyright 2004 Amy Frushour Kelly. All rights reserved. Reproduction by any means prohibited without prior written consent.