Snake and Freaky John strike back…
“So I finally saw Clerks last night,” Snake declared.
Freaky John rolled his head back and blew a smoke ring. “Where?”
“On my couch, moron.”
Freak passed the bud over, squinting into the smoke. “Unbelievable.”
Snake took a nice hit and held it in for a moment. “It’s about these fucking idiots.”
Freak knocked back about half his beer and lit a cigarette. “Huh.”
“This asshole Dante is the stupidest motherfucker I ever seen. Bitches and complains the entire movie. By the end, I wished he’d get blown the fuck away. And this other guy, Jay? He’s this fuckin’ whiny little cunt who literally does nothing but curse.” Snake tossed his hair back for emphasis.
“Huh.”
“Every fucking word is a swear word, man. And I don’t know, he’s just, like, stupid and shit. He talks but nothing he says means a goddamn thing, you know what I’m saying?”
Freaky John nodded sagely.
“And this Silent Bob guy, he doesn’t say anything at all, just stands there and kind of reacts to whatever Jay is saying.”
“Huh.”
“Exactly. And then at the end of the movie, he comes up with all this long speech and shit, so he’s not really silent at all.”
“Unbelievable.”
“Right. And this movie’s in fuckin’ black and white. Like it’s trying to be, I don’t know, art or some kinda shit. Or like a documentary. Fuck, I don’t know!”
“Cinema verite?”
Snake looked annoyed. “Dude. How many times do I have to tell you, don’t use words that you don’t know what the fuck they mean.”
“Fuckin’ unbelievable.”
“My point exactly. I give Clerks three thumbs down.”
Freak shrugged and finished his cigarette. “Kevin Smith’s okay.”
Snake stroked his goatee. “Was he the video store guy?”
Freak finished his beer. “I gotta pee.”
Copyright 2005 Amy Frushour Kelly. All rights reserved. Reproduction by any means prohibited without prior written consent.