Once upon a time, there was this nice goofy writer lady who didn’t feel so well in the stomach department, and who decided to write a story anyway. Because this particular nice goofy writer lady was perversely compulsive about writing something every day. And she hadn’t been posting as much writing as she’d like lately, so even though whatever she wrote was going to be half-assed, it was going up on her LiveJournal anyway, just because.

And so the nice goofy writer lady sat down to write. No sooner had her fingers touched the keyboard than a Fairy Writing Mentor appeared, glitter-encrusted coffee mug in one hand, stardust cigarette in the other. “Wow,” said the Fairy Writing Mentor, “nice shoes.”

The nice goofy writer lady looked down at her feet. “Thanks. I got them at Target.”

“Cool. Hey, listen, about the story you’re writing tonight — you’re missing a key structural element. But don’t worry, because I’m here to provide you with–”

“No smoking in the house,” said the nice goofy writer lady.

“Hah?”

“Your cigarette. You’ll have to either put it out or finish it on the back patio,” the writer said, politely but firmly.

“This? Don’t worry, doll, it’s only stardust.”

“But I have asthma. Has there ever been a clinical study done on the effects of stardust on the lungs? I can’t take this risk.”

The Fairy Writing Mentor shrugged and went out to sit on the bench on the back patio, but while she was sitting there, she got distracted talking to the nice goofy writer lady’s next door neighbor, who had several interesting ideas for a historical romance but no clue how to creat dramatic tension, and before you knew it, Fairy Writing Mentor was over at the neighbor’s house bumming an unfiltered Marlboro off the neighbor and helping her brainstorm a denouement.

The nice goofy writer lady shook her head and went off in search of Pepto-Bismol. Who needed a Fairy Writing Mentor, anyway? Stomach problems somewhat alleviated, she sat back down at her computer. Now, to write a story…

Copyright 2005 Amy Frushour Kelly. All rights reserved.
Reproduction by any means prohibited without prior written consent.