I’m working on a longer project this week, but I offer this special SPASM in the hopes that it will give you a little Christmas spirit. xo, Amy

It was the night before Christmas. Scrooge had dismissed his employees earlier in the evening, and after a simple supper, he donned his flannels and nightcap and climbed the stairs to his bedchamber. Being a miserly sort, he blew out the stub of candle before falling to sleep, and lay still in the darkness a few moments before drifting into slumber.

He awoke to the rattling of iron chains. Opening his eyes, he found the room awash in an ethereal gleam, and the ghost of his old business partner, Jacob Morley, hovering above him. Morley was trying to tell him something, but Scrooge paid no heed. His hand flew to the nightstand and seized the telephone, a newfangled invention from Mr. Bell. Scrooge had always possessed a fondness for gizmos and whatnot. “Operator! Get me the Ghostbusters!” he cried.

Scarcely an hour later, the Ghostbusters had done their duty and departed (with no Christmas tip!) the premises. Scrooge smiled to himself and slept soundly until the next morning, when a group of carolers gathered to sing a hymn beneath his windowsill. Scrooge found himself filled with delight. Leaping from his bed, old Ebenezer heaved up the chamber pot from the corner of the room and hefted it out the window onto the carolers.

“Merry Christmas!” he cackled from the window as the carolers sputtered and choked in filth. “To hell with you all, every one!”

Copyright 2005 Amy Frushour Kelly. All rights reserved.
Reproduction by any means prohibited without prior written consent.