The companion piece to yesterday’s story. Enjoy!

Gene awoke to a furious pounding at the door. He fumbled for his glasses. The doorbell rang insistently. He pulled on some sweatpants and went to answer it.

“Are you insane?”

Gene blinked at the man on his doorstep. “I… Do I know you?”

“Scott Morrison. I live next door. You’d notice that if you ever bothered to trim your hedges.” Another incentive not to trim the hedges, Gene reasoned.

“Oh, yeah. Hi.” Big yawn—man, it was cold outside. “What can I do you for?”

“You can clean my car, for one thing. What the hell were you thinking, giving kids eggs and shaving cream for Halloween?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. I didn’t have any candy, so–”

“So you incite vandalism? Have you seen my car?”

“It’s a Mustang, isn’t it?”

“Is it?! I can’t see it under all the egg yolks and shaving cream! Now, wake your lazy ass up and get over to my house and wash my goddamned car!”

“Hold the phone. I didn’t egg your car.”

“You provided the eggs!”

“Maybe I thought they’d make egg sandwiches. Hell, I gave the one kid a waffle iron.”

“If you don’t have candy, you don’t answer the door.”

Gene was horrified. “And disappoint the kids?!”

“The kids will live! My paint job isn’t doing so well!”

“I provided those kids with the means to create a Halloween night they’d never forget! They’ll thank me for it!”

Morrison collected himself. “Look. I’m not trying to start a fight here. All I’m saying is, intentional or not, the stuff you gave the kids last night was used to vandalize my car. I am a victim here. So I’m counting on you to be a responsible adult and take care of the damage. That’s all. Fair?”

Gene thought it over. “Yeah, it’s fair. I’ll be over after I shower.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it.”

“No problem. I’m sorry.”

“Okay. I’m taking the other car and doing some food shopping. You can use my hose or whatever you need while I’m gone.” Morrison waved and walked back to his house.

A pretty decent fellow, after all. Gene closed the door and took a nice, long shower. Next door, he was surprised to find how thickly congealed the eggs had become. This wasn’t going to wash off without difficulty. Maybe if he wiped most of it off, the rest would come more easily.

He went back to the house. No paper towels. And he sure as hell didn’t want to cover his bath towels in egg. Oh, but here’s a thought… He grabbed a package from the closet shelf.

It didn’t wipe very well, but it did absorb some of the damage. Gene swaddled the car for maximum absorption and went back to his house for a cup of coffee.

The egged and creamed car was now covered in toilet paper.