“The first ever VCR was the size of a piano,” Snake declared.
“No fuckin’ way,” contended Freaky John.
“It’s a fact. I saw it on a Snapple bottle.”
Freaky John shook his head. “Since when do you drink iced tea? Fuckin’unbelievable.”
Snake did another line and wiped his nose. “I’m telling ya, it’s true. Size of a fucking piano.”
“What kind of piano?”
“What do you mean, what kind of piano? A piano with keys on it, dickhead.”
Freaky John nodded. “I’m saying, is it one of those little upright pianos like they have in school, or a motherfucking Liberace piano?”
Thoughtful now, Snake stroked his goatee. “Oh, I see what you’re saying. Yeah. No, I don’t know what kind of piano.”
“Huh.” The Freakster finished his beer, rolled his head back and let out an enormous belch.
“Kind of makes you wonder, though.”
Freaky John rolled his head back toward Snake. “What?”
“Since when did pianos become a standard unit of measurement?”
“Hell, I don’t know.”
“Well, you should know, man.”
Freaky John started a giggle fit. “Why should I know?”
“Well, you’re the one in law school.”
Suddenly serious, The Freakster nodded sagely. “Oh, yeah. Fuckin’ unbelievable.”
Copyright 2004 Amy Frushour Kelly. All rights reserved. Reproduction by any means prohibited without prior written consent.
NOTE FROM AMY: Don’t forget to check in with the SPASMS Contest! (Check my earlier post from today for details!!!)
Freaky John knew he didn’t leave it in his other pants, ‘cause he didn’t have no other pants, but that was the only place he knew that little piece of paper wasn’t. So the Freakster and Snake are lookin’ all over Freak’s pad, y’know, tryin’ to find it in all the nooks and crannies and shit. They look in the cookie jar, under the sofa, top of the doorjamb, even in the toilet tank. That stupid paper is nowhere, man, and Freaky John is flippin’ out, ‘cause this is important, this is his life we’re talking about here, future and shit, so Snake goes in the head to mellow out a little, and he’s rolling a bud from Freak’s special stash he keeps taped underneath the sink, and then he notices there’s, like, writing on the paper. And so he unrolls it real carefully, and what the fuck? It’s the piece of paper they’ve been looking for! So Snake is like, “Dude! I found it!” And Freaky John is like, “Snake, man, you rock!” And it really was rockin’, ‘cause y’know, it’s just a piece of paper, but you gotta have that diploma if you wanna make it into law school.
Copyright 2004 Amy Frushour Kelly. All rights reserved. Reproduction by any means prohibited without prior written consent.
